NO DISHWASHER NEEDED

I wish i could remember what this place was called. We made this sushi vanish in record time. Our waitress was very impressed, and admitted to us she hadn't seen a magic trick like that since David Blaine made her panties disappear.

FINGER BLASTED

Today at the Clydesdale kitchen we said, fuck vegetables and fuck utensils. We wanted shitty finger food while my team of chefs brainstormed turkey day. Cream cheese and jalapeno wontons to start, then pigs in a blanket to settle the stomach.

SETTING THE STANDARD

Sorry friends and family, but this meal was hands down the greatest thing put in front of me this year. My good friends Jacob and Sarah were kind enough to give my taste buds huge boners. Hope you don't get stuck next to me on an airplane or bus, because i'll just talk about this dinner. As soon as i walked in their house, i wanted to do snow angels in whatever i was smelling. I would tell you all thats going on here, but i think just looking is more sexy.

HOT SEAT

I was minding my own business, cuddled up next to the fire with a good book when all of a sudden a couple of cute biker boys kicked in my door! Guess i have to replace my book with a cold one. I really showed my toughness to these outlaws by kicking them both in the dick at Dominoes. One out of three ain't bad, due to the fact my Dart skills and my Connect Four skills are not up to par. You boys headed off to rape and pillage more? Not without a well balanced breakfast!

BUGGIN OUT

MORNING SUNSHINE

Eat this in the morning or you will die. Side of OJ is optional.

MAI BAD

What else are you suppose to do after going to an art show in Anaheim? Some of the Clydesdale Committee took refuge at OutBack Steak House, we kept the night real classy after taking in some art and culture. If i was Australian i would set fire to every one of these restaurants. Ordering stuff here is fun, I'll have the Captains Mai Tai thrown double overboard mate. Excuse me, wheres the little blokes room?