FIG GET ABOUT IT!

Any guest bringing this to the table when they visit is sure to win the Golden Spatula Award.

Toasted baguette w/ goat cheese, homemade fig preserve, fig and thyme. Survival mode took over my body, all i could think about was what strategy i should use to eat all these with out any one noticing.

SUMMER SWEATY SWEET

If any of you were in my hood last week you would have felt the 110 degree penetrating heat wave. This was way beyond balls sticking to your leg or the back sweat stain from your car seat. This was special, this called for something refreshing. Chef Shanti is a regular contributer here at the Clydesdale Kitchen, and for this scorcher of a day she managed to countered attack global warming. This combo punch gets bonus points in my book cause both these recipes require really no cooking. Summer Rolls and Peanut Sauce

Rolls-

soak glass noodles in hot water for 10 min

soak rice paper in hot water for 5 secs

slice carrot, avocado, cucumber, Thai basil, jalepano, green onion, tofu

*Wrap all that up

Sauce-

crunchy peanut, butter, brown sugar, sesame oil, vegi oil, garlic, coconut milk, soy sauce.

*Put all that in a food processor and rev the big button.

RIDE WITH US OR COLLIDE WITH US

Word of mouth led me to this hidden gem in Echo Park. Even though this was not the best sandwich I ever had, this place could charm the pants off any Debbie Downer. Eastside market has everything you could ask for in a deli, which is very rare in my neck of the woods. If your confused on what to do when entering this sanctuary, just follow the lead of the old guy in front of you, and don't dare block the chip rack or you'll get socked by cousin Joey.

69 BRO HUH HUH

What happens when you go to a Summer of 69 Party and your the only one dressed in theme?

You graze the buffet alone. I had my stop watch out, timing how long it took these nerds to start dipping everything thing you see here in the fondue cheese.

1hour 47min 32sec. Not bad

THAI ME UP

Your going to have to use your imagination here, i was about 45mins too late taking this cause i couldn't help but engage on prey. Mae Ploy is my spot of choice for all things Thai, the family that runs this place will bust your balls and make you smile. Not in the picture,

-Spicy shrimp/ tofu lemongrass soup

-Green beans, tofu and mushroom

-Pineapple, shrimp, tofu curry

Don't let all the fixed gears outside discourage you.

EASY AS...1,2,3...REPEAT

These are the only directions i've ever followed.

All together now...

GUT & SCALE

Shopping at A Grocery in Echo Park will make you not want to be a pussy about food.

Its humbling to see so many unfamiliar eatables from around the globe. They even have Durian for sale. Once it was clear that the fish monger and I had no way of communicating, i simply handed him the fish i picked out, he returned them to me gutted and scaled. Thanks dude.

For how rustic these look, they were quite dandy.

-Put 3 slits in each side

-generous salt inside and out

-same with lemon and rosemary, put in cavity

-olive oil on the fish and grill, make sure it wont stick,

unless you want my results

-grill on medium high for 6min each side

SHAKE A BITCH

These are some super sweet salt n pepper shakers found at a place worth driving to the west side.

http://www.studioantiques.com/

CHIMICHURRI, CHIMMICURI, CHIMMICHURRI, CHIMICURY...

This simple sauce is a panty dropper. All you need is a lil food processor. And these ingredients-

1 cup packed parsley

1/4 cup cilantro

1/2 cup olive oil

1/3 cup red wine vinegar

3 garlic cloves

2 shallots

2 tablespoon lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon cumin powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper

* Put all this shit in the food processor, mix well, let sit for a few hours before serving.

SAME TIME NEXT WEEK

My friends Michael and Shanti always put me on the guest list when they have dinner.

Here I intruded in on an amazing vegetarian meat loaf that would knock the socks off Jimmy Dean.

BLUE ME AWAY

What do college kids on spring break drink to ensure they have a healthy immune system?

Blueberry Margaritas! Duh Becky.

My friend Shanti had these blended in no time first try!

Blueberries, frozen blueberries, blueberry juice, fizzy water, frozen lime concentrate, or what ever, tequila, ice and blend. top with blueberries and gulp.

Make sure not to measure anything.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

This is Ricos tacos in Venice Beach. this place gets a 5 out of 10 corn dogs. They sprung the hard shell taco on me with out asking, buttlickers.

SMELL DAT?

For a light refreshing change up, I've been wearing fresh sprigs of rosemary in my front pocket,

not only does it distinguish me as a gentleman, but smells good, and compliments any attire.

HERE'S A FREE LESSON

Who doesn't enjoy a cold beverage til the last drop? But realistically, coozy or not, 12oz goes by smooth and cold enough. Its the twice as big brother that i have trouble keeping cool. My hoofs generate lots of heat, but thanks to my 'DOS FRIO' coozy, i see only a cold future. STEPS-

1. find two cool coozys, not like the one i got

2. tear the butt off of one'em

3. crazy glue your balls to your seat

4. use remaining glue to connect two coozys

5. add your favorite 24oz

ALONE TIME

Theres protesters outside my house, angry for my large contribution to the dwindling number of tuna. Going to sushi solo means you dont have to share your shrimp heads.

NO WAY JOSE

My friend Stephanie is a vegan, but she enjoys making normal food for others to attack.

For her room mate Rick, a special birthday din din was prepared. The highlight being a white truffle oil mac n cheese and for dessert, bacon and maple doughnuts. All the men circle jerked over Ricks new grilling tools.

SLICKED BACK

Any dog owner will tell you, the key to a shiny canine coat is a little bacon grease in the diet.

I'll be damned if this doesn't work for people too. I've proudly accepted the fact I'll never have to buy hair gel again.

LOBSTER DIPS FRIEND IN BUTTER

Im sure this item appeals to many people who are constantly trying to find ways to keep there butter warm. This piece has a front row spot in my time capsule.

HELLA RIBS

I proly know what your thinking, these ribs are burnt as shit.

but there not, these lil ribs will knock your dick in the dirt.

on medium low heat grill on either side for 8 mins each with lid open. repeat grilling either side again with lid closed for 8 min. maybe there a lil burnt

KEEP'EM COMIN

It took a while for me and my digestive system to handle Tacos Mexico, but now after three years and an iron gut, i consider this my favorite place in the universe. How could this place get better? 59 cent taco tuesday, thats how. Go in there with $3.50, get six tacos and go cougar on'em.

There's no place to wash your hands, so everything you touch is gonna get taco juices all up on em. My steering wheel is still slippery and smells like Al Pastor.

BURNING SENSATION

its full on BBQ season and what's a better way to make your forefathers proud than to grill.

i gave myself 8 out of 10 corndogs for this one. This menu devoloped very organically to say the least.