SPOILED BRAT-WURST

The Clydesdale has been spending alot of time in the desert recently. Unfortunately Arizona is in the desert, along with plenty of Ford Mustangs and fake boobies. This is an ideal setting to catch a SF Giants spring training game. Nothing felt better than driving over the state line back into California.

DAY OLD BREAD RACK

If you happen to call your super good friend to let them know about the 2 new sauces at Taco Bell and they make fun of you for being behind on the times, get new friends.

LAUNDRY BILL

The Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Party was last week in Las Vegas, and as a treat to the crowd the magazine made final negotiations for The Clydesdale to speak. I remember that part, what I don't remember is shitting my pants.

WALL SCRAPER

Be light on your feet, eat Halibut, grilled veggies, polenta cakes and salad.

The playing of loud classic rock music and a pumpkin spice candle not included.

...THE SWEETER THE JUICE?

Who would have thought Montel knew so much about smoothies? This guy broke all the stereo types by endorsing this industrial size blender. I personally like the grape and chocolate/watermelon smoothie, but here we have a combo of beets, black kale, ginger, apples, berries and other shit. MMMM Ready to strangle the day.

TASTES OLD

Retro packaging is cooler than new packaging.

MERCURY POISON

Let me have it...

TOP HEAVY

There's nothing like taco night with a few pro Jenga players. The ancient wood block game originated in Germany around the 1850's. One of the reasons so many Germans have flat-top hair cuts is to mimic the games playing pieces in hopes of not only staying balanced, but to also maneuver swiftly around the tower.

Veggie Beef & Pickle tacos

Roasted Asparagus

Black Beans and Mexi rice

KABOODLE TO BOOT

"Hey dude, want to buy a charm"? If your able to get passed all the hippies selling crap in Venice Beach, a great vegan place is SEED.

A BBQ Tempeh Burger and house salad will make you invisible to vendors.

FLAVOUR COUNTRY

I added the 'U' in flavour on purpose, OK? Try to spell that euro style in scrabble and you'll be thrown through an american double pane window.

A surprise spread of blackberry jam accompanied my ham and cheese biscuit.

Thats how my day started, probably cooler than yours.

BE SOME BODY

People from Texas eat this on the first of the year to bring good luck. So if you didn't eat this on the first of the year, your pretty much fucked.

Black eyed peas

Collard Greens

Toasted corn bread

PART TOO

Roast Beef

Potatoes

Peas/Corn

Yorkshire Pudding

MALLARD TIME

This young buck got a couple home cooked meals over the holiday.

Sonoma duck stuffed with sausage and fig, wild rice and roasted brussel sprout.

What can I say, I like the way your put together.

BLONDE HAIR GREEN EYES

The German superior race also included weird taste buds.

Spinach soup with cinnamon to start, then seared scallops with spaghetti squash and a curry rice? That x-large vodka lemonade was my life raft.

TURKEY & RED WINE

Thanksgiving 2010. Calculating pounds per person, each of my guests were able to eat 3.5 pounds of turkey.

HOW LOVELY

Chardonnay and Quiche. Now your grown.

CARNITAS CRUSADER

The other day I started a gang, and got jumped in by giving myself a rowdy gut punch.

Feeling like a gentleman I decided to show love to the salvadorian taco shop next door to my regular spot. This place was disappointing, I blame myself. I had a bad feeling when I entered the establishment, I should have done the truffle shuffle out the door and across the street. So a few hours later I hit up Hugos in Atwater village. What can I say, I'm down for the gang!

LE CHEVAL

Salad for breakfast? At first I got super angry when this bullshit showed up on my plate instead of some hash browns. Now its the 3rd time I've eaten at The French Market Cafe, and I'm afraid to admit the French have a good system. My method in this situation is to immediately attack the greenery, shovel it dressing-free into your mouth. This way you can get the health eating for the day out of the way. Now you have a free ticket to be a crap face.

OPEN HERE

This is one of my favorites finds. This box tells a gripping tale of strong character development and will power.

LOIN SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY

As a Viking, I need plenty of protein and nutrient rich food to stay gazelle like on the battle field. Here's something not only delicious but colon friendly too!

Grilled pork tenderloin- salt/pepper,olive oil, minced garlic. Medium high flame, about 15-20 min. Make sure to get a good color on your loin.

Onion+squash- drizzle with balsamic vinegar, olive oil, salt/pepper. Grill them on a high flame.

Israeli Cous-cous-Read the directions on the box

Today I recommend you drive dangerously.