Recently one of the Clydesdale kitchen members not only banged out an amazing dish, but concluded her extensive research in what foods help fight fatigue and weakness as well as promote a focused brain. A simple game of Rummikub snow balled down hells abyss into a full on 7 hour battle. I like to think i lost with my boots pulled up tight and my shirt unwrinkled. 
I've been really into flipping people off while driving around Los Angeles lately. With the holiday season here in full fledge blast off mode, people seem to let their feelings go one way or the other. And just when you thought waking up on the wrong side of the bed was normal, some motherfucker puts a heart of foam in your Machiato. The confusing yet fun coffee shop, Intelegensia, will bring you right back to the classic Steve Martin film, LA Story. I would say people watching is fun here, but who wants to look at a bunch a dip shits? Next time I want a vagina in my Machiato.
Its no wonder the Pilgrims won the hearts of Native Americans many moons ago. Put this yard bird in front of anyone and see what happens. I didn't want to take my hand out of my new lovers cavity. This lovely bird spoke to me as soon as I released her from the package. I threw away all recipes and just listened to her body. I just stared at this bare pale dead body, imagining raising this bird from young. Nurturing her, pumping her full of spices and herbs since her hatch. I washed her sensually in a cold bath, fisting her cavity, parading her around like a famished viking. I patted her dry, everywhere...Sprinkled lots of salt and pepper in and on her. I slowly worked my hands between her titties and the skin. I worked in a mix of butter, rosemary, sage and thyme. In her bath for the oven treatment I gave her some white wine, chicken stock, onion, oranges and garlic, as well as that gushing out her cavity. I loosely covered her with large foil and in the oven at 325 degrees. After the longest 3 hours of my life, i uncovered her and back in for another 45 min or until your meat is at least 165 degrees.
I wish i could remember what this place was called. We made this sushi vanish in record time. Our waitress was very impressed, and admitted to us she hadn't seen a magic trick like that since David Blaine made her panties disappear.
Today at the Clydesdale kitchen we said, fuck vegetables and fuck utensils. We wanted shitty finger food while my team of chefs brainstormed turkey day. Cream cheese and jalapeno wontons to start, then pigs in a blanket to settle the stomach.
Sorry friends and family, but this meal was hands down the greatest thing put in front of me this year. My good friends Jacob and Sarah were kind enough to give my taste buds huge boners. Hope you don't get stuck next to me on an airplane or bus, because i'll just talk about this dinner. As soon as i walked in their house, i wanted to do snow angels in whatever i was smelling. I would tell you all thats going on here, but i think just looking is more sexy.
