DEATHWISH

This is probably the best scheme out there. I wore my heart on my sleeve last time i let out San Diegos best kept secret. This card allows loyal customers to receive a free hoagie if they purchase 9 of them? Impossible, the last person who was at number 8 died. I'm still chugging Pepto bismal since I ate there 3 months ago.

LET ME SEA IT

Mother nature is rad. She has a way of taking and giving in the most extreme way. The human body is made of many different components that have work and rely on each other. The ankle is connected to the knee, the knee is connected to the hip...An earth quake destroying a counrty a million miles away can and will send a 600 mile tsunami west. Why getting to see the bay suck out and come back destroying everything in its way a reason to party? I don't know, false alarm. FUCK

AMERICAN ME

Next time there better not be shit sticking out the top of my burger. Tell me a foreign chef prepared this, and i might have to buy a prosthetic leg to kick myself in the dick. Here under the fireworks of dumb veggies is a turkey burger with a apple chutney.

SIAMIN SAYS

Siamin says grab your ankles. I'm pretty sure this dish covers the whole food pyramid in a bowl. With enough protein to make you rip a phone book and your shorts in half, Hamura's, in the country of Kauai, will only set you back about 5 sand dollars. The girgling full feeling afterward and sticking out like a Clydesdale in a distant land? -priceless!

6 PIECE

My excuse for everything is that i was born in the wrong time era. Besides my rustic cooking all it takes for me is to close my eyes and i'm back in the 16th century pillaging villages and stealing live stock to take aboard for my viking voyage. This bird imp articular was named 'lil six piece''. After i was done sucking the cartilage off the ligaments, i gathered all the bones and made a dagger. By the time you read this, my new yard bird dagger will be impaled in the chest of a humble peasant.

SAUCE-ALITO BANDITO

Mercedes-Benz, poetry, neck ties, ivy league, tater tots. Classy and timeless is the way we do things in my hood and everyone on board the Clydesdale is on the same program. Timeless tots and secret sauce, I wouldn't have my sunday fundays any way else.

BONE IN'

The Clydesdale was down south this weekend not only to donate balls to a fierce, unforgiving golf course, but to also let my hair down and enjoy NFL playoffs with the homies! Kick off was on our heels when i sped off to the local grocery store for supplies. The market was in chaos as if people were gearing up for a major disaster. I elbowed my way to the meat aisle just to see an elderly woman take off with the last set of ribs and wings. This is where years of intensive improvising comes in. I took off my shoes and tip toed behind her in my socks so i was undetectable. I could smell the blue in her hair right before i tapped her right shoulder, only to go around to her left and snatch her prey away! Oldest trick in the book.

Ribs- 350 degrees covered for 1hour 30 min. Put some color on these by a quick broil or grill.

Wings- cook in sauce and beer till done.