PART TOO

Roast Beef

Potatoes

Peas/Corn

Yorkshire Pudding

MALLARD TIME

This young buck got a couple home cooked meals over the holiday.

Sonoma duck stuffed with sausage and fig, wild rice and roasted brussel sprout.

What can I say, I like the way your put together.

BLONDE HAIR GREEN EYES

The German superior race also included weird taste buds.

Spinach soup with cinnamon to start, then seared scallops with spaghetti squash and a curry rice? That x-large vodka lemonade was my life raft.

TURKEY & RED WINE

Thanksgiving 2010. Calculating pounds per person, each of my guests were able to eat 3.5 pounds of turkey.

HOW LOVELY

Chardonnay and Quiche. Now your grown.

CARNITAS CRUSADER

The other day I started a gang, and got jumped in by giving myself a rowdy gut punch.

Feeling like a gentleman I decided to show love to the salvadorian taco shop next door to my regular spot. This place was disappointing, I blame myself. I had a bad feeling when I entered the establishment, I should have done the truffle shuffle out the door and across the street. So a few hours later I hit up Hugos in Atwater village. What can I say, I'm down for the gang!

LE CHEVAL

Salad for breakfast? At first I got super angry when this bullshit showed up on my plate instead of some hash browns. Now its the 3rd time I've eaten at The French Market Cafe, and I'm afraid to admit the French have a good system. My method in this situation is to immediately attack the greenery, shovel it dressing-free into your mouth. This way you can get the health eating for the day out of the way. Now you have a free ticket to be a crap face.

OPEN HERE

This is one of my favorites finds. This box tells a gripping tale of strong character development and will power.

LOIN SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY

As a Viking, I need plenty of protein and nutrient rich food to stay gazelle like on the battle field. Here's something not only delicious but colon friendly too!

Grilled pork tenderloin- salt/pepper,olive oil, minced garlic. Medium high flame, about 15-20 min. Make sure to get a good color on your loin.

Onion+squash- drizzle with balsamic vinegar, olive oil, salt/pepper. Grill them on a high flame.

Israeli Cous-cous-Read the directions on the box

Today I recommend you drive dangerously.

CRAFTY

I have an idea to create a simple t-shirt that comes pre- looking like your perspiring profusely. Large sweat stains will give the impression your working super hard, when in fact your just picking your butt on a vacant film lot. Make sure you have access to water, splash some on your face for a believable glisten.

PICK UP PIECES

Candy and Tissues.

BIG CHEESTER

Doing dishes sucks less when you have a sweet view. ssshhhhh

GO FOR IT, GO FOR IT!!

Again my Clydesdale affiliate up in the Bay gallops his way across the finish line.

Edamame, sesame green salad and panko crusted dynamite salmon.

You are dynamite! Keep'em coming butthole...

FEEL THE BEET!

A natural in the kitchen, this super chef is powered by German steel! This is my favorite type of meal with a few of my favorite things. First off this is a Vietnamese fish called 'Swai', with a sundried tomato sauce.

Roasted beets and wild rice. However, the show stopper was the sauteed beet leaves. Mixed with olive oil, butter and honey, this tastes amazing for looking ugly and healthy. I guess your suppose to peel beets before cooking.

GET NAILED

Ribs, salmon, asparagus, salad, boner.

WAKE UP LIL SNOOZY

A food truck at my disposal might be the most incredible thing thats ever happen to me.

I'm never washing my hands again.

JUICY J

On that juice. Apparently the 'especial' is carrot/strawberry.

VEAL IT OUT

This dish is right out of Baby Bjorns First Cookbook, super duper easy and fast as fuck.

Veal cutlet- flour, egg/w parsley, panko bread crumbs, then into canola oil till they have a nice tan.

Steamed rice

Snap peas- little bit butter, olive oil, minced garlic, salt/pepper

BALLS STUCK TO LEG

A nice lil heat wave has finally made its way to Los Angeles, which leaves me figuring out fun ways to beat the heat. Although I would prefer slip n' slides, BBqs work just as well. Grilled shrimp and halibut tacos and enough budweiser to sink a battle ship. Ice cubes down the pants is manditory.

DAS' GOOD, YA YA YA.

I've shined some light on 3 squares cafe before, but this place really hits'em outta the park.

Here i chose the ''Ham Steak'' only because i had never tried before. Enough spinach to choke a donkey, sunny side up eggs on a big steak of ham accompanied with a bacon/scallion scone.

Have a double cappuccino on the side and you'll want to kick the day ahead of you in the dick.

IRON PUMP

This might look like a plastic utensil, but this is a carbon fiber fork. Better have some quality shit if you have the pleasure of me tasting your shit. Clydesdale will break your face too.

WHACK-KOW

Fireworks, american flags, DUI's. See you next year Uncle Sam.

HAPPY FOURTH FUCKER

Pay tribute to our forefathers dying face down in the mud! I couldn't even tell you what really happen july 4th a million years ago.

Vegan root beer float cupcakes to salute america and chocolate sludge cake to celebrate the oil spill.

LINCOLN CONTINENTAL

Nothing wrong with a free breakfast.

I'M FULL

Veal 2 ways.

Carpaccio w/ parma

sliced thin w/ mayo, tuna, caper sauce.

Can I have more bread please?

MEDIUM-RARE VIEW

Steak on a plate and a plain salad. I'll take 2 more por-favore. I ate this as quickly as possible and ran to take a long swim in the lake. Waiting 30min is just a myth, get to back stroken!

NO FUCKING PIZZA?

The Clydesdale went over to Italy with idea to eat everything but pasta & pizza. At this particular moment, all i wanted was a gigantic pizza and beer. Through broken translations Ifound out that they don't serve pizza till dinner. After I kicked salami sam in the pantalones I tried his antipasti tasting. Heres what 20 euros got me. I did get my big beer! Life totally sucks.

Walnut, celery salad w/ cheese

Mushroom pastry pocket

Butter/ sage ravioli

Veal in a mushroom/ pea sauce

Chocolate flan with liquor sauce

JUST LIKE AMERICA

Can you rewrite this in english please?